Life Lived on My Terms

If I had a dream, I’d dream

I am still, silent as the night.

Dawn’s always approaching;

it comes 'round with a life

too fast to be seen, heard, or felt.

And living has become a frill –

for those who don’t do

something worthwhile.

And regret looks on   

from a not too distant future,

wagging its finger in caution.

I want to live for moments;

but there are moments

which stalk the memory –

replaying like viral images –

and there are those which vanish.

The vanishing sort,

are the ones I wish I could keep;

but it has never been up to me.

I want to believe that time is an illusion –

a momentary ill that can be cured.

I want to taste this bitter sweet world,

and feel comfort in the calm

of a life lived on my terms.  

© 2013 Helena Malheur  

Blue Hues

I’m surrounded by blue hues –

even bluer than the heart I carry.

Of all the hues, his blue

is the one I know the most.

One furtive dalliance

after another –

imaginary as they may be –

have fogged my awareness.  

I hang onto vague gestures,

dangling on the edge of

right and wrong.

I remain a victim of happenstance.  

© 2013 Helena Malheur