I have always lived inside.
Once, I dared to go outside,
knowing you'd slip in, unnoticed --
colorless as the air you drew
from my lips when we kissed.
But I imagine more than I see;
I imagine truth where there are lies
and lies where there are truths.
And I'm too terrified to trust my eyes.
So I ran to a familiar place; now,
I'm tucked inside my hollow cave,
crowded by silence and
suffocating from too much air.
Yet, I feel safe in my sadness.
because I know how to live with it;
It has been my companion for years.
And I couldn't outlive another betrayal.
Still, you skulk around my mind
stirring nostalgia and regret,
for having abandoned
what could have been true.
You'd flung open my heart
before I knew yours.
I sit here, a quiet coward,
waiting to forget you.
© 2014 Helena Malheur