Wednesday, August 20, 2014

If Only

If Only

If I could close my eyes 
And never see your face
Or if I could forget the way 
Your hair fell on your face --
Demanding that tantalizing flip 
Which naturally came afterward. 

If I could let go of your crooked 
Smile, the corner of your mouth 
Turned up as if in contempt.
If I could never remember the way 
You held the fake cigarette 
With your teeth while you spoke.

If I could just believe the truth
Behind your lucid eyes --
That they spoke of lust not love.
If I could wake to never hear 
Your name resonate in my ears
Like a song stuck in my head.

If I could learn that you never 
Meant it when you said we'd have
Beautiful children together.
If I never loved you deeply,
Passionately and patiently,
And you said nothing in return.

If only I waited for your call and 
Gave up never knowing the truth --
I never learned how to play this game --
That you, simply got tired of me.
If only then, I may have known
How to live without you. 

© 2014 Helena Malheur 

Monday, August 18, 2014

I am loath to love you

Smooth as the slippery steps 
I climbed to search for your heart, 
Your tongue clearly knew my way. 

You've already said 
There is no need to wait. 
I listened but heard nothing. 

I am loath to love you,
To breathe when you
Don't understand my worth;

And the hours keep counting,
Backwards and forwards --
Marking my descent into the dark.

I wait for something. 
Nothing happens; and I stand
Alone, in the dark, cradling my heart. 

© 2014 Helena Malheur