If I could close my eyes
And never see your face
Or if I could forget the way
Your hair fell on your face --
Demanding that tantalizing flip
Which naturally came afterward.
If I could let go of your crooked
Smile, the corner of your mouth
Turned up as if in contempt.
If I could never remember the way
You held the fake cigarette
With your teeth while you spoke.
If I could just believe the truth
Behind your lucid eyes --
That they spoke of lust not love.
If I could wake to never hear
Your name resonate in my ears
Like a song stuck in my head.
If I could learn that you never
Meant it when you said we'd have
Beautiful children together.
If I never loved you deeply,
Passionately and patiently,
And you said nothing in return.
If only I waited for your call and
Gave up never knowing the truth --
I never learned how to play this game --
That you, simply got tired of me.
If only then, I may have known
How to live without you.
© 2014 Helena Malheur