I Am Human

They say light illuminates the truth.

But it is in the shadows, it is in the gray 

That one’s truth and character are tested.
Maybe the sun smiles at the lack of wisdom,

Like people smile for no reason;

They smile, smiles shrouded in veiled sentiments,

Hiding their disinclination for the unfamiliar –

Like animals inspecting their quarry.

I do not wish to be normal

(even if conforming is smarter).

I am a dreamer for believing that I
Can change the world

One action at a time -- 

(perhaps I have a touch of grandiosity).

Either way, I know it is a passing ill. 

And I will carry labored hours,

In nights longer than tangential sermons

Of elderly aunts;

Awake in the wee hours of darkness,

Whimsy nearer my bones than my heart,

I ask and answer maddening questions.

I have lost the world in sixty minutes

And claimed to have found it

(hiding under my pillow).
I have reached the end of the world at midnight,

Returned to the beginning 

To find that the world is round, after all 

(to my bitter disappointment).

And no one will dare to break my heart;

But sometimes, I want it broken

Just so I can feel something and know

I am human.

© 2014 Helena Malheur 

Suffused in Sunshine

A subtle smile appears 

Across my face

Throughout the day;

I needn't a reason 

Other than 

Thoughts of you. 

I steal time with you 

At work, at lunch, the store...

Anywhere and everywhere 

I'm able to daydream.

It is as though 

I am suffused in sunshine

Despite the rain and clouds.

You'll find me reminiscing 

Over vivid moments --

The delicate nature 

Of your touch,

Your fingers tracing

My back, my shoulders, 

Your eyes fixed on mine.

I think about your kiss;

The way you hold me,

Nearer than 

I remember being held.

I think about your smile 

And how your laughter 

Transforms you into a boy.

I think about your eyes;

Even you can't tell me

What color they are.

And I, long to breathe the air

Expelled from your lips

While we sleep --

Our bodies intertwined,

Not a sliver of space 

Between us;

I crave the electric joy  

That surges through me

When I open my eyes

To find you next to me. 

© 2013 Helena Malheur

L.A.

Mercy

Can you hear it -

the quiet creeping in

beneath the streets?

Trees stand alone

casting long shadows;

silence echoes

in the hollow street.

I watch a spider squirm

trapped in its own web;

It asks me for mercy.

How am I to give mercy 

when I haven't accepted it? 

© 2013 Helena Malheur

The Present

Anticipation is a drug, 

lifting me higher and higher 

with every minute, every hour,

I wait for you. 

The present is reality

glaring at me with sobering eyes;

it warns my heart to step lightly. 

It reminds me never to forget

other times like this.

But, when I see you, things are easy.

There is no past, no future.

There is only the present. And we

know how to live in the moment.

I carry you with me, 

after you go, leaving behind 

the faint scent of your cologne; 

it is even more apparent  

when the breeze tosses my hair.

© 2013 Helena Malheur

You and I

You and I,

We were extraordinary --

We were unstoppable;

But we left our doors ajar

And the world barged in.

We carried on   

Treading on a tightrope 

Living 

A disillusioned life --

One that was not to be or

Perhaps, it needed not to be. 

We were bystanders  

as despite and devotion 

Coexisted as one --

Perplexed by one another,

Yet insisting on one another.

Perception and reality

Converged and diverged

With each action and reaction,

Stretching the bounds 

Of our fidelity

Until it was no more.

© 2013 Helena Malheur

J.B.