Friday, September 27, 2013

The Present

Anticipation is a drug, 
lifting me higher and higher 
with every minute, every hour,
I wait for you. 

The present is reality
glaring at me with sobering eyes;
it warns my heart to step lightly. 
It reminds me never to forget
other times like this.

But, when I see you, things are easy.
There is no past, no future.
There is only the present. And we
know how to live in the moment.

I carry you with me, 
after you go, leaving behind 
the faint scent of your cologne; 
it is even more apparent  
when the breeze tosses my hair.

© 2013 Helena Malheur

Friday, September 20, 2013

You and I

You and I,
We were extraordinary --
We were unstoppable;
But we left our doors ajar
And the world barged in.

We carried on   
Treading on a tightrope 
A disillusioned life --
One that was not to be or
Perhaps, it needed not to be. 

We were bystanders  
as despite and devotion 
Coexisted as one --
Perplexed by one another,
Yet insisting on one another.

Perception and reality
Converged and diverged
With each action and reaction,
Stretching the bounds 
Of our fidelity
Until it was no more.

© 2013 Helena Malheur

Thursday, September 19, 2013

I Am None the Wiser

I loathe fate 
for it has fondled
my heart 
in unconscionable ways.

Age has not done me
any great justice either.
I am none the wiser 
than when I was a toddler.

I speak semi-eloquently
and can hold my liquor;
I doubt that qualifies
as anything significant. 

I love restlessly
and hope endlessly.
The cycle never stops. 
Like a drunken rat in a maze
I never arrive at the prize.

© 2013 Helena Malheur  

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Know the Unknowable

Is your heart un-breakable?
Can I count on it 
to be gentle and kind  (even at your worst)?
Can I know it,  admire it -
Can I depend on its fidelity?

I would let you see me
if I could believe you will;
believe that if I let go
of reluctant sentiments
I may be free to be free.  

Is your love undoubtable?
Can I feel the fire burn
without fear it'll burn out?
Can I see it, hear it, 
trust it with certainty? 

I would let you love me
if I could believe you will;
believe that if I learned
to be and to breathe,
I may know the unknowable. 

© 2013 Helena Malheur  

Friday, September 13, 2013

I Don't Know Your Voice

I don't know your voice.
I know the depth of your gaze,
the resonance of your touch,
the linger of your kiss.

You are perfectly awkward
and sly in corridors; you're
ever so present, tender,
in singular moments;

still, you are absent
as the sun after dusk.

And though I am one who
practices guarded abandon
to near perfection,
it is no match for your sway.

I felt my power dissolve  
in a solitary moment -
an unspoken moment -
where you held our ground.

Now, I sift through this urge
to hear your words, to feel
the temperate climate
under your chest, to listen

to your breathing
in sleepless, unforgiving nights.

I wait, clutching dreams
with enough fantasies and fears 
to begin and end
a hundred love affairs.

I shall learn to forget you
when the moon goes home.

© 2013 Helena Malheur

Saturday, September 7, 2013

Doubt Wins

in silence;
doubt settles
like dew at dawn,
sweating on everything.
But, the need to be sought
is grander than the frustration
of betraying one’s own thoughts.
Hope rides along, reluctantly;
it aims to mollify a fixation,
submitting to an impulse,
an itch. It always ends
with a balancing act
of love and life
in unrest.

 © 2013 Helena Malheur