I heard those five words even before we met,
Long before I watched the mist settle
On the white lilies you planted in our backyard --
Tearing the milky fog blanketing the air.
I stood in the rain waiting for the storm.
I never asked you to stand in the rain.
Stay under the sun. Sleep with the moon.
Scoop the stars from the sky
And throw them away; I don't need light.
I am damp as the grass beneath my feet,
Long after the rain subsided;
Bones soaked in melancholia,
Even you can't wring it out of me.
But she, the little lily white bud, bathing in your sun --
She must look up at you, in awe,
With her big green eyes and dark brown hair.
I imagined her, ever since I saw the moon light
Seep through the moss covered trees in your front yard.
And I still refuse to listen to the right voices singing
The right songs. I listen to your voice.
I listen to those five little words that sunk a ship.
"I don't love you anymore."
Because wrong is so right it feeds on denial,
Like a parasite. and right is never right in the wrong light.
In this cricket hour, the remembering hour,
I must forget to remember regret; and once more,
Abandon a girl more malleable than me.
© 2014 Helena Malheur
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