Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Rage

Since inception I have lived with this,
Calm as still water,
Blue veins and black blood,
The visible traces of life
Outlined in indelible ink on my skin.

I have the heart of a lion beating
through my chest,
Wild and free yet hollow --
A wormhole, cavities of decay from neglect --;
There is no room for regret, only rage

With more fury than the most violent winds.
Quiet as a mouse,
The ravenous animal eats
Away at my logic, 
Resolute in its purpose

Of unlocking the fiery limbs chained
To my tongue
And tucked behind white teeth.
Merciless is their reach, like liquid lava
Engulfing everyone on its path.

2010 Helena Malheur
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NOTE: If you wish to leave a comment, please do so.  But make it an honest one; I am not fragile.

One Shot Wednesday: week21 at One Stop Poetry - Where Poets, Writers and Artists Meet.

27 comments:

  1. Oooo what great feeling you have packed behind each stanza. I expect something to pounce out at me and then I feel the need to run

    Great - thanks for sharing with One shot- Helen

    moon smiles

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  2. You came by so quickly, thank you moon! Just wrote this - it's a first draft but thought why not post it and get feedback... :)

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  3. WOW Helena..you nailed it ! it is extremely very well written..:) i am enchanted to read such gifted talent like you! the last stanza is BRILLIANT! :)
    Beeros75

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  4. Powerful and interesting-- thanks for posting-- i identify. xj

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  5. wild free yet hollow...gives me shivers...very nicely done...

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  6. This is a brilliantly written piece. The words are laid down to grasp us with imagery. Great job. :)

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  7. Vivid visuals, with some competing imagery of stillness and power, complemented with strong word choice - there's a lot of strength packed into each stanza. Very nice work. A first draft perhaps - but quite well written Helena!

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  8. I'm reminded of the lyrics to a Smashing Pumpkins song: "In spite of my rage I am still just a rat in a cage"

    (I hope your lion heart gets to roar some day!)

    Nice One Shot, Helena!

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  9. this was like a volcano eruption of emotions in your poem..very nice work

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  10. Great poem packed with powerful imagery.

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  11. superb imagery and well written...thanks for linking with osw...cheers pete

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  12. Thank you all, humbled by your lovely comments! :)

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  13. very effective use of opposites throughout - rage and the quiet that is perhaps rage at its deadliest... well done!

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  14. Brilliant!! You've captured the essence of rage SO well...

    LOVE it...

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  15. 'no room for regret only rage' <~ have you been peeking in my mind? *wink* Loved it Helena! & soo glad i now know you have a blog for me to stalk!! LoL <3

    ...Lili

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  16. haha Lili - might have been inspired (inadvertantly) by that “Machete to your *bleeeeep* head” tweet!! That was a punch I won't forget! lol

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  17. Thank you, Helena. Powerful contrasting imagery to give us the flavor of this emotion.

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  18. I felt it straight to my bones.It wasn't a while back that I felt this kind of rage.Sometimes I can still feel it in my mouth.My only refuge was to write things in positive ways.

    Wished I had the courage to write one like this.Might have gotten me out of my rage faster.

    Thanks,for sharing!Powerful one shot!

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  19. June -
    Yes I understand completely - writing for me is the choice of weapon to battle the emotions that are bottled up because of fear or caution. It is cathartic to put them down on paper, whether it is in the form of poetry or other, rather than holding on to the toxins that may poison the joy in life.

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  20. Brilliant Helena.. oh, my web page is full of such rage flowing in softer disguises throught out.. loved you poem and appreciate so much for your visit and comment.. will follow you hereafter to see the rage flowing in softer disguises..

    Thnaks keep visiting..

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  21. Great poem! Reminds me of how detrimental and even debilitating it can be to bottle up feelings inside rather than expressing them. Cheers

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  22. Dear Helena

    I liked your words.. 'There is no room for regret, only rage' and a great verse.. I enjoyed it very much.. thanks

    ॐ नमः शिवाय
    Om Namah Shivaya
    Twitter: @VerseEveryDay
    Blog: http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com

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  23. I liked this poem as well. I have felt that rage in place of regret many times. The most poetic line I read, however, was in your comment: "It is cathartic to put them down on paper, whether it is in the form of poetry or other, rather than holding on to the toxins that may poison the joy in life." I would love to read of poem from you about this statement for it is what writing does for me as well. Great One shot! Glad I stopped by!

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  24. Intriguing blend of animalistic, death-centered and violent verbiage.

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  25. Thank you all for reading! I appreciate your comments very much.

    gospelwriter,
    Indeed! Rage at its quietest is the deadliest. Thank you for your comment.

    Ramesh,
    I wanted this to hit the reader in the face, hence the lack of subtlety! Thank you for the comment.

    Shewriting,
    What a good idea! I should think about writing a poem about why I write poems! :)

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I welcome constructive critisism; I am not fragile so go for it -- tell me what you really think!